I hold a grip to my own destiny trying to figure out what I must do next. I get bothered by my own thoughts and by the comments people would just say. I'm scared. I'm anxious. I'm excited. I'm not so sure. Am I ready to face what life has to offer? Am I ready with endings?
I have been given this chance to live a life. Therefore, I was entrusted to take really good care of it no matter what happens. But it doesn't mean that I have to be near the word perfection. It doesn't mean I'm not capable of making mistakes. Because the truth is, life is about choosing decisions and making mistakes yet learning from them. That's what I think. I'm surrounded by possibilities of reaching my own desires and being damaged by temptations and failures. I live with individuals who have different ways of thinking and personalities. Some may even be peculiar to know more about or either in or out of my league. So when my English teacher asked us if we're ready to face what life has to offer, I was caught in between. And even until now as I express my answers. I'm caught between diving through the things that my life goes through and whether I should just stop believing in my wildest dreams. They say that dreams can only happen once you start believing in them and sacrifice yourself. It is true but the fact is, we really never know what can happen to our life next. We may create our own selves but we can't control everything. We just can't.
And when she (she refers to my English teacher) asked if I'm ready with endings, it usually depends on what kind of endings. If it's an end of life like death, no. Absolutely not. I'm not yet ready for it. I want to enjoy more my life and it's not because I'm really scared of death although honestly I quite am. I'm actually curious about what happens after you die as well. There's an ending when you do something you've been doing for so long like a successful career or retiring from your job. Even if I'm not yet in the working stage of my life, I don't want the job that I really want to pursue someday to end. Because when you're working hard for the dream you want to achieve, you're not thinking already about ending it. Another BUT again though. But like what I said, we might hold the remote control of our life and change channels anytime we want but if the batteries run out or if we fall back, we just have to bear with the way life goes. Uncontrollable things slash events happen for some reasons.
I'm holding on to my dreams, my values, my strengths and even my weaknesses. I'm trying to figure out more what I'm capable of doing and changing. I might have confused moments or unsure feelings. Life may throw rocks of problems and buckets of curiosity at me. Life may give me unwanted endings or unexpected results. But life answers every bit of wonder that I have. It tells me to face what may come my way and handle everything still with a smile on my face.
